We don’t give ourselves the permission to be still with the thoughts that make us uncomfortable. Instead we push them away, seal them in a box, and perhaps make a mental note that we will look at them someday when its “safe” or “when we have time.” We carry these around and make stories of them to suggest we’ve processed them or we are not affected by them , but in all reality they are there weighing us down and gathering the emotional dust of avoidance.
What boxes are you carrying around? You don’t even need to look in the box, just acknowledge they are there. One by one name the boxes…failed marriage, rape, trauma…Realize how you’ve been carrying them or ignoring them…drinking, saying to yourself “look how strong I am, this doesn’t affect me”, lying…Once you’re ready you can softly brush off the emotional dust (defensiveness, stress, anger..) and look inside the box. No need to pull everything out, just look. You may realize that the box is empty, time has diminished all the details and you’ve been carrying around an empty box that to you has felt really heavy. It may be putrid and rotten or be hiding a hidden gem of knowledge. But give yourself permission to just look, no need to take it out yet (to be honest I haven’t been able to do that part yet). We’ll get to that in time. Just sit with it, know its there.
Do you feel lighter? Do feel overwhelmed, joy, anger? Just be with it, know that what ever you are feeling that moment is part of the process of acknowledging those boxes, of dusting of the emotional dust, and looking inside.