On my trip home my father asked me about my blog “Do still have that website with the tree?” I told my father I still had my blog but I hadn’t been writing in it as often as I would like. He very frankly asked “Why? You’ve always been such a good writer!” The reasons I turned over seemed hollow even as I said them. They had no meaning, no substance they were excuses and had no charge behind them.
Thank you Dad for making me realize that.
“Roots” By Angela Giddings
I dug in the soil today and realized how deep my roots go.
I watered the ground and saw how parched I had become.
Gifts, flowers, love have come from many sources before.
Today I plant my own garden, receive my own sustenance and water it with love.
As a nurse, and as an individual whom deeply explores her own mind this has always been a very important concept to me. “Physician heal thyself”-Soren Dahl, I like to think of it more as “Healer heal thyself” mainly because of its very deep root in “Know thyself.” To be able to delve deep into ones self is to know where one is weak and where one needs to heal. For to heal others and to know other, you need to first know yourself.
This card shows us that to heal we must be vulnerable and open to the love that others and ourselves have to offer. When we are healing we are no longer hiding from ourselves and others. In this attitude of openness and acceptance we can be healed and in turn help others also to be healthy and whole.
Many of the times we carry our wounds or are ready to be wounded, just waiting on the brink for anything to happen. Be aware of your wounds, don’t help it grow, let it be healed.
So I’m going to try something, please join me if you like, for 24 hours try total acceptance. No stories, no wounding. Someone insults you? Don’t react and see what happens. From one thing to another, see when you react out of habit and when you don’t react out of habit. Is there a pattern? Is there a story you are telling yourself about your wounding?
I am reminded by the people surrounding me, the meditation I sink into, and the medicine I study, how powerful vulnerability can be. I used to fear the word, thinking it meant weak and/or leaving yourself open to be hurt. This video changed everything and it was one of the many things that have lead me to this path I’m on today.
The next glance will be without one back.
The next step will be without hesitation.
The next breath without a word.
The next thought will be with complete clarity.
OK one of the tools I’ve been using is the OSHO Zen Deck. For those of you unfamiliar with what the concept of Zen is I’ll give you a brief watered down version at the end. I’ve found these card very helpful in my morning meditations and to become more present in my everyday life. I want to start pulling a weekly card and place it here, not only for me to reflect on but my readers as well. It may be nothing more than “oh thats a new way to look at it” or it might inspire you to look at yourself or your world differently.
So here’s the first card, Inner Voice, perfect considering my post yesterday was all about that “Finding my Voice”
“The Inner Voice speaks not in words but in the wordless language of the heart…There are times in our lives when too many voices seem to be pulling us this way and that. Our very confusion in such situations is a reminder to seek silence and centering within. Only then are we able to hear our truth.”
Where in your life is are too many voices or labels or opinions pulling you this way or that? In what ways do you find your voice and your truth? Please feel free to comment below with your wisdom and reflections.
I find a lot of time I put too many labels on myself. A lot of them to do with my perceived body image, “Oh I’m too curvy to pull that off” or “no one wants to stare at this butt when I’m trying to rock climb” LOL little mischievous voices can be so vain! Where do I find my truth? On the cushion meditating, in the wood hiking, and something I need to make a priority with my time…dance. When I dance I feel connected, I feel me…so more dancing!
I am not a Zen Master or even aspire to be one but I do find the teachings a very simple and freeing way to think about and explore life. I use the Osho Zen Tarot Deck not to predict the future or look into the past but as a reflection on life and my perceptions around it. So a very simple definition of Zen. Living fully and authentically in the present moment to make each instant of one’s life a peak experience. Zen can bring us face to face with our true original nature, undefiled by cultural conditioning and painful neurotic tendencies.